Fankssssssssssssssssgiving! Otherwise known as Turkey Day. I've never really been one to celebrate it, but I did get some turkey out of it.
At least, I think it was turkey, it might have been a ham of some sorts. I had the Thanksgiving meal at 1pm at the "Carolina Club", which is in the Alumni Center and feels like the fanciest place I've ever seen. I considered whether by going in jeans, t-shirt and hoodie I had severely underdressed, until I saw everyone there for the student event was dressed in normal clothing as well.
I mostly texted my friend during the meal itself, very briefly speaking to people. Look, I try and socialise, but it's hard to approach people, and again it wasn't the most social event, given the activity was: eating. I had a nice time, if only to discover the Carolina Club as a place to snoop around and feel glamorous (it was a free meal).
Food itself was nice. It wasn't fancy or anything, it did feel pretty Christmassy with the cuts of meat, cranberry sauce (surprisingly, very nice), there was pumpkin squash and pumpkin pie and salad and definitely felt more traditional than yesterday's "throw whatever we can find into this pot luck".
I felt pretty happy to just eat slowly, message my friend and go after being careful to sneak a couple desserts away with me. It's not like it was amazing, but it was fun, and it was a Thanksgiving experience, which having is better than not having.
Otherwise, I struggled to be productive today. I binged every Brooklyn 99 Thanksgiving episode, which was nice, and I finished off Tacitus' Germania which I was supposed to read a week ago.
I also went for a run, despite the fact I'm just getting over a cold. I cannot, however, tell whether this was a good idea or a bad idea in hindsight. In the immediate post-run YouTube video watch, laughing hurt and I felt I had an underlying sense of a polar bear sitting on my throat, so I thought, "hm, maybe I shouldn't have done that, too much too soon".
Now as I write this though, my throat feels better than it has in the past few days, so maybe I somehow got the cold out of my system....? That definitely doesn't seem possible.
Speaking of running, though, the best time to go for a run is when there's no one around. I feel so self-conscious running usually in part cause I run wrong, I have a weird run ok, but also it feels like people are judging me. I don't know what exactly it is, perhaps because I'm not an athletic person, perhaps because I subconsciously (this is a lie, it's consciously) mouth along to the lyrics I'm listening to, but it often feels like I'm getting looks from people.
In fairness, Chapel Hill actually is a very scenic place for a run, especially in the autumn/fall. It's actually really gorgeous, and like I say, I'm able to just run like a headless chicken in the way that I do getting hyped to whatever cheesy music I'm listening to. I also took a turn through Kenan Stadium and decided to run on the field like I was running away from opponents and got a touchdown, which felt immensely cool until I realised my assumption I was the only person there was incorrect as from a restricted area of seating I couldn't see there was a guy just sitting there. I quickly left.
The panic I felt having thought I'd left my keys in my room, knowing there's only a few people around in Morrison right now and the desk is closed so I couldn't call anyone, was truly terrifying. As it turns out being more organised than you give yourself credit for can make you forget you actually have the thing you thought you'd forgotten on you.
Morrison really is empty right now, I took a little walk round the ground floor and NO ONE was there! That's gotta be the first time I've seen it like this. I also went to the top floor to get the view from the roof, as someone recommended doing that a while back to me, and I thought it'd be a good time to snoop round someone else's floor without people being there. Ironically, someone was there. Whatever. The views were pretty.
(It's at this point in the post that I realise I've been writing in past tense as opposed to the narration-style present I wrote in yesterday. Screw continuity. I can't really fix it at this point.)
I do think it's a little haunting seeing the town and the residence so weirdly empty. But I will say I thought Thanksgiving would be harder to get through, and go by super slowly. Maybe a bit slower than usual, but I don't feel super lonely or anything. I'm naturally an introvert so maybe not having to interact with people isn't terrible. I maintain that I do enjoy it more when I'm around people because human connection=good (look at how much therapy has taught me:)), but sometimes I don't feel energised or brave enough to interact...well.
I will be happier when things are back to normal, and the loneliness can actually affect people's mental health a lot. That's what I was most afraid of, that seeing very few people would make me have a bit of an existential crisis, and that's why I try and keep myself distracted and engaged by bingeing stuff or at least trying to work. I haven't really done much working. I try. But on the other hand, when other people are around you can't sing and move like you're in a music video whilst listening to Noah Kahan without looking like a weirdo. So I take the wins.
I made a few plans for tomorrow, as a few more places will be open. Going to get my phone camera fixed, hopefully actually get off my arse and do some work, etc etc. Hopefully that'll actually come through, because I won't consider this break a wasted one if I manage to be productive in it, and so far I feel I've been just a bit more productive than during my past breaks.
But that's been my Thanksgiving! I am thankful for....um....food? I'm thankful for food. I'm always thankful for food, the true love of my life. Oh, and I'm thankful the Brooklyn 99 episodes were fun to rewatch. Yeah, that's been me. Thank y'all for reading:)
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