Do you know what university really is? A whole lot of your brain frantically trying to decide whether to hold the door open for the person behind you, and realising how indecisive you are as a person. Okay, kind of a weird way to start my review but a valid point nonetheless. So, Term 2 of Bristol is halfway done and honestly? I'm a little offended at the universe that my term was actually pretty good.
Like, good for me, not so good for me coming up with material to vent about for my blog if I'm actually feeling relatively decent about this term so far. I'm kidding, there is PLENTY for me to vent about still, but let's dive straight on in to this review (because these articles get me way more views) I mean because I want to write for your guys' pleasure!
I can't fully explain why this term has felt a fair amount better than last term, other than the fact I'm putting myself out there a bit more, I'm being a little less paranoid about whether people like me or not and I'm being a lot less terrified of actually talking to people. (It's at this point where someone will probably text asking if I'm okay. Yes, I am.) I mean, don't get me wrong, I still had my survival instincts kick in a couple weeks ago as I was headed for a social and didn't see anyone I knew, so I bolted, but I think that's probably okay, actually, I'm realising now if it doesn't feel right (and if your bloody fight-or-flight instincts kick in to tell you to RUN AWAY AND NOT SOCIALISE) then there really is nothing wrong with spending an evening indoors with Netflix and a slice of cake. That's another good thing about uni life, you shop for yourself, so I buy myself a lot of cake. Because I deserve it.
I also think that exploring and getting something to eat or drink from whichever cafe you fancy that day is actually surprisingly good for your mental health. (I promise I won't turn into a self-help blog.) It'll feel crap when you see the balance on your bank account go down, but it feels surprisingly productive to explore your city (especially when you live in a great one) even just by going out and getting some junk food (yes, I worry about my diet, too). And to anyone who ever sees me outside Love Bristol on Park Street, yes I get the irony of me being dressed for running whilst drinking one of their milkshakes which contains I don't even wanna know how many calories, but trust me, it makes sense. (I need an incentive to actually go out and exercise, that's my rationale.)
It usually is milkshakes or hot chocolates that I drink when I go out, actually. Partly cause of my general gluttony, and partly I don't actually like drinking coffee, contrary to a typical uni experience. Caffeine generally doesn't have an effect on me which is slightly irritating knowing that I don't really have that in my arsenal of things to actually motivate me to study or write an essay. Trust me, I had to properly motivate myself to even post some sarcastic quippy crap on the internet. That's this, by the way. What you're...currently reading. But I do use the phrase "do you want to get coffee" as a way of asking people if they wanna hang out because I really really want to seem like a grown up, and because this seems to be a general way of asking people to hang out outside of actual classes, socials, gatherings or whatever you usually see them at. But genuinely, if anyone fancies it I will probably say yes if you ask. Unless I don't know you. In which case....stranger danger! (I run a public blog, I don't know why I'm afraid of someone I don't know reading it.)
But the fact remains asking people if they want to meet up is an essential part of actually forging friendships at uni and in adult life, apparently, which is honestly, a bit of a pisstake. What, suddenly I have to actually put EFFORT into my friendships?! Shock horror! I have to actually be PROACTIVE in not just hoping I'll bump into someone but actually making sure I'll see them? No one ever told me this! I jest, but also through this I again feel the difference between uni and secondary school in one of the biggest ways. In an angstier period at secondary school when I was in a mood that was, well...moody enough to think this, I did a couple times think to myself "right I'm just not gonna speak to anyone today I literally cannot be asked", then realised that people would speak to you (again, shock horror). At uni you could probably get away with this! Until you start forging friendships. Which again, I feel like I'm better at.
I've done a lot less clubbing this term, in part because I'm a forgetful mess and lost my driving license. My new one didn't come for a few weeks so I literally couldn't go clubbing, which I don't mind hugely, it does save me money, though it does feel like I'm missing out when I'm not. I also start preing with just supermarket shit rather than at a pub because this is wayy cheaper, albeit doesn't have the vibe. I did go to Taylor Tuesdays once my driver's license finally came, it is 100% (as quoted on the Bristruths Instagram account) the best thing about Bristol Uni, though it is tricky to leave as I swear that all the bangers start playing as soon as you resolve to leave and you start thinking, "oh, just one more song...."
My journalistic pursuits are going fairly well right now (wow that sounded pretentious); I've written a couple articles for The Bristorian (Bristol's history/ humanities magazine), including an article on Sappho that will hopefully be published in the spring print publication even though I submitted it a day late!! Fingers crossed they still want to publish it it would be incredibly cool if they did, I actually even put effort into it (I know). I also pitched and presented a video for UBTV (Bristol's YouTube channel which reports on student life in news, entertainment and nightlife) asking students whether they regret choosing their degrees. Given my social anxiety I thought I was a terrible presenter because I stuttered and blushed a lot but I've seen the edited cut and it's actually not bad. It hasn't been put online yet, sadly, and I'm a little unsure why, but the second it is I'll put the link to it at the bottom of the article.
It's a good thing I do have that stuff to keep me busy because Ancient History is not keeping me busy, as I mentioned in my last term review I have barely any essays to write and it's vaguely annoying. Look, it's not like you can be lazy with this degree or anything....somehow despite the lack of actual work I'm frequently behind on my reading which I need to do to do the actual work, it's generally one of the most painless degrees you can do. And yes, that annoys me! Not to sound like a total nerd but doesn't everyone want to be somewhat challenged by their degree? It's actually an interesting subject but it also encourages a lack of motive to do work, until you get to the essay you actually have to do. Which is a problem in itself, because if you screw up on one specific essay you've just put all your eggs in that basket and failed, so....I guess in that sense it's both a low and high stakes degree? For the record though, I don't regret choosing my degree because I like the content, the video I came up with was just for fun. And if any future employers see my blog I mayyy have to delete this part of the post to boost my employability:)
And finally I thought I'd mention to y'all that I'm studying abroad for the first semester of second year at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill (or UNC because that's less of a mouthful), because it's easier and less smug than announcing it to everyone individually and I don't want to confuse anyone by posting or releasing blog posts regarding North Carolina. (See how the y'all was appropriate there? Because....because America...I'll stop.) That's the one thing that's kinda not gone right for me this term, I don't feel like fully happy about life in Bristol yet? So a disruption like spending next term abroad can derail whatever progress I've made. This also made getting a house pretty difficult but thankfully the one we are SO SO close to finalising (!!) has a precedent for subletting to other students, so I'm hopeful I can do that while I'm abroad. But despite all the admin and other stresses I really am excited to get something of a US college experience and I feel super lucky to be going.
So that's all! I will see you soon enough for my round-up of my last term (or potentially the entire year depending on what mood I'm in) in a few months, and I'll be posting very soon about other stuff, too.
Link to UBTV video (!!):
https://youtu.be/efeXb4PTESo
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